family
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Who’s Watching Us?
Dear Mom, At what age did you feel that you reached adulthood? Like really. Not the dictionary definition of adulthood, which actually says twenty years old is considered the beginning. There is no way I was an adult at twenty. … Continue reading
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When I Die
Dear Mom, When I die, I want the party you never got. I want music and dancing and a true celebration. You requested a party. You never got it. I want it. I also know, it’s not that simple. I’ve… Continue reading
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A Little Magic
Dear Mom, Over the weekend we watched a movie about imaginary friends, and it sparked some truly magical conversations at dinner. We asked each other, what if we had imaginary friends? I could really visualize Scotland’s friend. Long curly hair… Continue reading
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Navigating Setbacks
Dear Mom, I often feel like I’ve turned a corner. That I’ve somehow figured out a way to survive my life without you. Then, something happens. Not always something big. Often, it’s a seemingly insignificant moment which reminds me that… Continue reading
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Because I Said Yes
Dear Mom, I asked the kids today what it feels like when I say no to them. Scotland said, “It feels like I don’t get ice cream. Like a beautiful parrot gets trapped in a bird cage.” Idris said, “It… Continue reading
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Therapy Room
Dear Mom, I’ve been looking at your old journals again. I found an entry where you spoke about all the things you did during your day to keep your mind off your diagnosis. Particularly in the end after the tumor… Continue reading
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Unpacking My Layers of Regret
Dear Mom, When I was a teenager, you told me that I too often surrounded myself with broken people. That I’d seek out friends who needed help. Who needed to be fixed. Did it ever occur to you that I… Continue reading
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Learning Together
Dear Mom, The last few weeks, I’ve been thinking a lot about what I want my life to look like. Not my ‘in 5 years’ goal. Not my ‘at my deathbed’ goal. Rather, my ‘right now, today, tomorrow, in the… Continue reading
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See You Next Time
Dear Mom, We did it. We went to Chicago. We had a wonderful visit, but I can’t seem to kick this feeling that I failed you. That it wasn’t enough. I dreamt of this trip to your city. Envisioned taking… Continue reading
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See You Soon
Dear Mom, I’m flying my kids to Chicago this week. It’s been a while since I’ve spent time in the city. Since I’ve come home. Chicago still feels like home to me. My birthplace. Your birthplace. Both of my kids… Continue reading
Sober Letters to Mom 