Dear Mom,

After last week’s letter about the magic of cinema, and in an effort to recreate the movie magic of my youth, I took my kids to see the old classic animated movie An American Tail. Jeremy and I also watched The Firm after the sad tragic news of Gene Hackman’s sad tragic death. Both of these viewings got me thinking a lot about films of the past and how they hold up today. I’ve been on quite the journey the last few days as I’ve revisited the past and thought a lot about how pop culture has the power to shape us even with horribly wrong messages.

To be honest, I’ve been struggling a lot with this letter.

No matter the angle, I keep finding myself stuck in this limbo as I grapple with whether I grew out of certain movies or if these movies were never great to begin with. Have times changed? Or should we have never accepted movies full of problematic themes and overtly racist and sexist undertones as the greatest films of all time? Is it, perhaps, time to retire some of these films? To stick them in the vault and not revisit them. Must my children still see the movies that shaped me? Or should I save them from being shaped by such mediocrity and mixed messaging?

Just a quick sidenote, I don’t think An American Tail is problematic. I just find it to be boring and not really for kids. Same with The Firm. It’s a fine movie I’m not going to bash. It wasn’t as good as I remember but that could be more about the fact that it is very much a product of 1993 and also, I kind of despise Tom Cruise.

Anyway, the more I thought about this topic, the more I began to wonder if this topic is even worth discussing. Especially in today’s world full of horrific news pretty much daily, does anyone really care about the mixed messages of films of the past? Does any of it even matter?

I’ve gone back and forth a bunch on this the last few days. I decided to start over and rewrite my letter. That didn’t help. I rewrote it again. I still arrived at the same place. Recognizing that, yes, there are a lot of movies from the past that should not be revisited. There are movies that I am embarrassed I once loved. Movies I should have noticed the problems within sooner. But also, there are movies that are still great. Movies that will likely always be great and withstand the test of time. And I guess there is no way to know whether or not they hold up unless I actually watch them.

When I was a kid, you loved to attempt to ‘wow’ me with the movies of your youth. I was rarely impressed. Most of that had to do with technology. Our special effects in the ‘90s were better. Now though? My kids would likely laugh at the ‘90s tech compared to what we have today. Often, visual mediums like film are outdated through time. But this doesn’t bother me. I’m all for showing them Jaws one day even if I know the shark looks silly and could be done better today.

It’s when the themes of the film are so outdated it feels unnecessary. Or, most important, when the film’s actual writing is racist or sexist or homophobic. When actors are playing ethnicities that aren’t their own. When actors are saying horribly problematic words for no reason other than to shock the audience. When the portrayal of women, even in animated films about animals, is cringey and baffling.

That got me thinking a lot about all the movies I’ve been looking forward to showing my kids. All the “greats” I grew up on. What if I’m wrong? What if they aren’t good films like I remembered? What if they’re actually quite bad?

This is where I’ve landed on the topic after debating myself for days. If I know a movie doesn’t hold up. If I know a movie is quite problematic. If I know a movie will teach my kids the wrong lessons. I don’t have to show them. I can actually tell them Peter Pan isn’t worth seeing. Lady and the Tramp isn’t worth seeing. In fact, most Disney movies aren’t worth seeing. Most movies made before a certain time, and some after, are very racist and very sexist. Most of these movies don’t need to be seen.

And then there are the movies I don’t remember being problematic. I can assume most of them have terrible depictions of women, but maybe I’m wrong. At the end of the day, it’s one thing to know a film is problematic, ignore the thematic issues, and still revere it as one of the greats. It’s another thing to watch a movie I don’t remember, recognize the issues, and discuss the issues with my kids. In this scenario we have an opportunity to grow. I can get the chance to grapple with my own love for movies I should have seen as problematic earlier while teaching my kids about the problematic portrayal of most groups throughout the entire history of all art forms. I mean, let’s not pretend film is the only medium with these issues.

But I do know we can’t run and hide from the problems of our pop culture. We can’t erase bad words from old books and pretend people didn’t actually speak that way for a long time. We need to face it head on. I need to talk to my kids about why cinema has such a problematic past. I need to have real conversations with them about why these issues matter. Why films need to be critiqued in this way. I can’t leave the bad in the past and pretend nothing happened.

Right?

Perhaps this topic is bigger than I think. Maybe I’m just holding back from saying what I really want to say, which is that most of pop culture should be critiqued more harshly. And that, as a parent, it’s my job to teach my kids about history without sheltering them from it. Maybe I need to eventually show them all the films within the context of education. Of history.

On the way to Scotland’s drum lesson last night, I asked for her opinion on this topic. Does she want me to keep movies from her that I deem as problematic? Or does she want to make that decision for herself? It spawned a really lovely and very important conversation about how we deal with art and morals in general. It led us down a path of discussing whether or not we can separate the art from the artist. Scotland ultimately decided that she’s not sure how to grapple with this topic. Fair. She’s only eight. But then at one point in our conversation Scotland asked me a question that changed everything for me. She said, “Will Trump make more of those bad movies happen?” She was wondering if, now that Trump is in office, will more racist and sexist movies come out. We discussed that topic further and I related it to the DEI pushback from big corporations in order to appease the President. The topic turned to sacrificing morals and ethics for the sake of making money and suddenly it all became clear for me.

I know why this has been such a challenging topic to write about this week. I am afraid that the movies of the past will return. The racist, sexist, homophobic movies of the past. The movies I question whether or not I should allow my kids to see. I am afraid they will come back. I am afraid that one day very soon pop culture is going to take an ugly turn, and we won’t be able to stop it. I think, ultimately, I’m just afraid for the future. I’m afraid for our humanity.

Maybe the only way to get through this really is to face it head on. If I show my kids some, not all, of the problematic movies from the past, we can have real conversations about the issues. You did that with me. I remember specifically having conversations about the portrayal of women on screen in context of how women are treated in the real world. Perhaps showing my kids these films and allowing the dialogue to happen will only strengthen their morals and ideologies. Maybe educating them through the mistakes of the past will allow them to understand history and why things must not go backwards.

Maybe I will show them the classics and maybe we will all learn something together.

But still, we’re not watching Peter Pan. Screw that movie.

I love you, Mom.

Love,

Rachel